Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
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We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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