Betty ford says i'm here all night
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
