I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize