Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
