Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Can't talk, ducks in the car
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
