I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
