i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
