you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
