Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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