How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize