I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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