It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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