You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
