Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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