your room smells of hookers.
And success
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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