My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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