I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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