Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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