Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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