You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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