It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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