i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize
