im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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