Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?