and you said cock pushups were impossible
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life