used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
last night I used snow as a chaser
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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