Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym