Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.