He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
