just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
