soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
