Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Let's get the cat blown out
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
