dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize