maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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