half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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