i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
