I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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