so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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