Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
