Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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