Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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