I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
