It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
