u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
