i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I can't trust your balls anymore.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
