I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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