its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.