It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
A+ Viking dick