Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.