if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
