She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize