Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
