apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
