new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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