R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
