And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
