i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Randomize
