How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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