Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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