Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
