That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
