So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
