you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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