so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize