By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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