he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i black out too much to be "responsible"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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