I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
