In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I smell like Dick and happiness
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
