..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
